in clover: Word

Have you chosen your word for the year?  

It’s all the buzz on the blogosphere.  New Year’s resolutions are old news.  They have been replaced with New Year’s words... one word to contemplate, to meditate on, for the entire year.  Last year, I had “a word.”  I didn’t choose it though.  It chose me.  That word was with me for most of 2011 and it led to numerous personal insights. It was a good word but it was last year’s word. 

I tried my best to choose a word for 2012.  I reflected.  I journaled.  I paid attention to words that had “energy.”  I even did a meditation designed to reveal my word.  For a few days I thought my word might be HOSPITALITY.  But I really, really wanted the word to choose ME and while the word HOSPITALITY did resonate for me, it seemed a bit forced.  Meanwhile, I began to get antsy because the newness of the new year was wearing off and I had no word. 

Now January has come and gone and I am fairly certain the word that has chosen me for 2012 is CREATIVITY.  

It’s odd that CREATIVITY would emerge as my word because right now, 

I am in a funk. 

At first I thought I was experiencing post-holiday fatigue but I’m ready to throw in the towel and officially call this a funk. This has happened before….very often in the gray days of January and February….but still, I am disappointed that it has happened to me, again.   I had envisioned a cozy winter spent enjoying hearth and home… snow days, reading (lots of!) books, watching movies by the fire, eating yummy wintery food, playing board games and working on needlework.   Maybe ultra-organizing my closet.  Or trying my hand at painting. Something. 

Until a few days ago, I wouldn’t admit to the funk.  I said to myself (and to Michael), “I’m just tired from the holidays.  I need to rest.”  So I rested.  Then I said, “I am an introvert.  I need to stay home.”  So I stayed home. 

But my fatigue has not yet lifted. 

Winter blues….winter blahs….seasonal affect disorder….I don’t know…

I’m just not “myself.” 

These days I most often pull a black sweater and jeans from the closet because it’s easy and I wear the same pair of earrings every day.  I have to make myself cook.   And clean.  And read.   And write.   I have a stack of  creative projects I have looked forward to working on but I just don’t have the energy.  

  

This is not a black cloud…more like a light gray one.  I don’t think my family is exactly suffering.  I get up, I get dressed, I leave my house every day.  I have lunch with friends.  I welcome my work, as a spiritual director intern.  I do my homework and I help my kids with theirs.   Everyone has food to eat and clean clothes to wear and rides to their various practices. 

I just feel…..blah. 

I would like to leave this feeling of heaviness behind.  Right this minute.   But I know that is not how this works.   

Yesterday I read an interesting article by Martha Beck on the topic of lasting happiness.  In it, she proposes that many of us think we are seeking happiness…..but what we really are seeking is excitement.  She believes that culturally we are addicted to excitement and the adrenaline rush it brings.  She thinks we confuse a manic feeling with a happiness feeling.   She likens it to using the drug ecstasy. 

Then she writes about joy.  She says, “True joy lacks the wild ups and downs of an excitement-based life. It's a peaceful landscape…. Indeed, it's so peaceful that, to our adrenaline-soaked culture, it looks rather plain. In fact, I like to think of it as the plains of peace.”

Agreed.  

But it was the next part of the article that I found most interesting.  Beck explains, “…one day, while reading up on the latest research in positive psychology, I discovered a two-word instruction that reliably ushered me onto the plains of peace….Here it is: Make something."



Huh?

She continues, "You see, creative work causes us to secrete dopamine, a hormone that can make us feel absorbed and fulfilled without feeling manic. This is in sharp contrast to the fight-or-flight mechanism, which is associated with hysteria hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. Research indicates that we're most creative when we're happy and relaxed, and conversely, that we can steer our brains into this state by undertaking a creative task.”

Huh?  I did not expect the main topic of an article written about happiness and joy to be CREATIVITY. Gratitude, sure.  Meditation and contemplation, absolutely.  But not CREATIVITY. 

 

I certainly was surprised to read about creativity and happiness together, in a “chicken or egg first” sort of way.  So interesting! And clearly, more proof that the word CREATIVITY has chosen me for 2012. 

“To get a dopamine "hit," make something that pushes you to the furthest edge of your ability, where you're not only focused but learning and perfecting skills. Cooking an unfamiliar dish will do the trick, as will perfecting a new clogging routine.”

So let me get this straight....by engaging in a creative pursuit, even though I might not "feel like it" right now, I can literally affect a what happens in my brain?  And I can feel happier and more relaxed which in turn leads to even more creativity?  That is amazing!  
 

I can MAKE SOMETHING.  

I find that so empowering. 

  

“The aftermath of a creative surge, especially one that involves a new skill, is a sense of accomplishment and increased self-efficacy—which psychologists recognize as an important counter to depression…. you're left with the happy fatigue of someone who is building strength."

I'd really like to feel some of that "happy fatigue."    

And...get this....it lasts....

"Pay attention to this process, and you'll...find yourself increasingly able to tune in to the delights of the present even when you're not actively creating. When this happens, you'll be on your way to genuine happiness: abundant, sustainable delight in the beautiful moments of ordinary life.”

I feel better already. 

CREATIVITY. 

It’s what’s for 2012. 

Namaste,

Lisa