in clover: Vulnerable Joy

I had something written for today but I've just gone to let the chickens out and found one of my hens, a pretty little Rhode Island Red, dead in the coop.   

Emmy Lou was the friendliest of all my girls and the one I would most often hand to a curious child who wanted to hold a chicken.   

This is me with a teenage Emmy Lou the day she came to live with us. 

 And here's a shot of her on the roost with Nancy.

 Back when when had six...sunbathing together.  Emmy is right up front.

I have been dreading the day that I would find a dead chicken.  Honestly, it made me feel sick to think about it.  It made me feel terribly vulnerable.  My friend has kept chickens longer than I have and she told me that every time one of them dies, she says to herself, "I just can't do this anymore.  No more chickens!"  

She also has said to me many times, when wrestling with some difficulty, that she seeks out the calming presence of the chickens.  "What did you do then?" I ask.  "I sat with the chickens."  I do it too.  I call it my chicken meditation.  I have recently made two new friends, both of whom are chicken keepers.  And they report the same sense of peace when they are with their chickens, which seems to be proof that the feelings of vulnerability are worth it, even though it's terribly difficult.  

When I was a single girl, I had a sweet little cat I called "Bubba."  He acted a lot like a dog, greeting me at the door.  I LOVED that cat!  When I was very pregnant with Big C, Bubba died.  A neighbor, trying to stop birds from eating his garden up, had put out poison.  It was awful for me and for over a decade I refused to have another animal. I swore I would "NEVER go through that again."  This makes me laugh now...since I was only a couple of weeks from giving birth.  Seriously! 

We took in my dad's elderly cat when it needed a home but I refused to get very close to him.  And he wasn't very friendly anyway, so it worked for us both.  It was only because of Little c that we have a dog and two cats now....although the chickens are on me.  Sometimes, in a quiet moment, I marvel at how I have exposed myself to vulnerable feelings by allowing animals in my home again.

Brene Brown has this to say about vulnerability: 

"When we lose our tolerance for vulnerability, joy becomes foreboding."  

I am certain, for me at least, this is absolutely true. 

Sometimes, like this morning, exposing myself in this way sucks.  But most days, it's totally worth it and full of joy. 

Maybe I will write a book...."Everything I Needed to Know About Vulnerability, I Learned From a Chicken."
Maybe.

Namaste, 

Lisa

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in clover: remembering Patsy

Last night, when Michael went out just after dark to shut the chicken coop, he found our Dominique hen, Patsy, dead in the nesting box.  We have no idea what happened.  Earlier in the day she seemed fine.  Michael and I worked in the garden in the afternoon and she was out and about as usual.  

Needless to say, we were all quite sad last night.  Circle of life and all....we get it...but this is our first experience of losing a chicken friend.

Dominiques are quite striking in appearance....their feathers are black and white and are irregularly striped or "barred."  They have a red comb.  They are calm and personable. 

This is my favorite photo of Patsy, the Dominique hen.  

Our Patsy was a good layer and we easily recognized her egg.  She laid the smallest egg of the bunch and hers were the nearest to pink in color.  When she began laying, I was quite concerned for her because the shells of her eggs were thinner and more brittle than the others and they were rough in texture, like sandpaper.  But, time went by and she seemed healthy and happy, so I quit worrying, mostly. 

We weren't really sure what to expect when we began our chicken keeping experience.  The work has been minimal, thanks to the deep litter method of hen house keeping.  (Here's a link to a short, informative article on the deep litter method.) I had no idea the chickens would be so entertaining or how much I would enjoy hearing them cluck to one another.  I had no idea the sense of life and energy they would bring to my garden. 

But what I was most completely unprepared for was the level of responsibility I feel for their well being.  It has at times made me quite anxious.  I've sat with this, asking myself why I feel more anxiety and fear for my hens than I do for my dog and my cats.  I think it's because hens are so completely vulnerable. 

Chickens have many predators to worry about.....racoons, foxes, hawks, dogs....and bless their hearts, they have no claws or teeth to use to defend themselves.  They can barely fly and while they are quite speedy when you are trying to catch them, they aren't speedy like a cat or a rabbit.  They can't see well in the dark so a night attack could result in the demise of an entire hen house!  More than once I have woken in the night, sat straight up in bed and shrieked loudly, worried that we forgot to secure the coop.

I am grateful that by all appearances, Patsy died peacefully.  

Patsy may or may not be in these photos taken when we went to visit our friend's chicks....we received six chickens from this group of chicks.  

 

A very young Patsy....trying out the roosting bar in her new home: 

 

 With a young friend, who charmed Patsy by feeding her blueberries....

And this is the last photo I took of Patsy...this summer, as she joined her friend Loretta Lynn in the hen favored left side nesting box: 

 
Last night, after I told little c that Patsy had died, she drew this photo and penned this little obituary.  June Carter is actually c's proclaimed "favorite hen" but maybe that made c feel a little guilty for having a favorite...who knows?  

Like little c, I am glad we have "pichers of her" to help us remember our friend, the little Dominique hen, Patsy Cline.  She was a good girl.  We will miss her.

 peace and all good, 

Lisa

in clover: egg-static

After getting off to a slow start (compared to some other chickens I happen to know), my hens are now regularly laying eggs! 

Patsy Cline, our Dominique

The Brown Leghorn lays white eggs.  The Dominique, Silver Laced Wyandotte and Rhode Island Red all lay light brown eggs.  The Americauna (nicknamed an "Easter Egger") lays GREEN eggs and the Welsummer contributes a lovely, rich dark brown egg with...(be still, my heart)....SPECKLES.




June Carter's first egg...hard to tell but it is definitely green!

It took a little time to get the nesting boxes just right for the girls.  At first they preferred to squeeze under the very short ladder that leads to the aviary for laying their eggs rather than using the nice, cozy and EASILY ACCESSIBLE nesting boxes Michael carefully constructed for them.

My chicken keeping neighbor suggested that I put a cardboard box in each of the nesting boxes so that the girls would feel more enclosed and secure.  When Michael brought home a bushel of cucumbers from our farmer's market for pickle making, we realized the boxes would fit just right so we gave it a go.  Another friend brought us a grocery sack of hay to line the boxes and the very next day we found six eggs (from six hens) laid neatly right where we had hoped.

Hallelujah! 

No more climbing into the coop on my hands and knees to hunt for eggs hidden under the ladder. 

Here are some shots of our first eggs.  I can't even begin to tell you how exciting it was to find them. 

Did you know that you do not need to have a rooster to get eggs?  You DO need to have a rooster to have fertilized eggs.  

Chickens lay about an egg a day except in the winter when egg production drops significantly.  Some commercial egg operations keep lights on in the coops in the winter to trick the girls into laying more eggs but the fact is a chicken will only lay so many eggs in a lifetime and once she's laid them, she's done.  Tricking your girls into laying more in the winter just wears them out early.  

One of our chicken keeping goals was to have a "zero waste" yard and so far, so good!  We live in a neighborhood full of large, old oak trees.  Leaves in the fall are abundant, to say the least!  Last fall, we saved a number of bags of oak leaves and that is what we have used (shredded) as the bedding in our coop.  When we mow our lawn we either mulch the clippings back onto the lawn or we bag the clippings and feed them to the chickens.  They LOVE grass clippings. 

We were all ready composting leaves and kitchen scraps but I have never composted weeds.  I did not want weed seeds in my compost.  Now I feed all the weeds to the chickens.  The greens are very good for them and they must taste great because they go crazy when they see me coming with a bucketful. 

When we remove soiled bedding from the coop or aviary we put it straight into the composter and then in a few weeks time it is ready to be added to the vegetable and flower garden.  We feed the chickens most of our kitchen scraps but what they don't care for goes into the composter.  It decomposes much more quickly now...the chicken poo really keeps the composter hot.

So there you have it...we have no yard waste anymore and the "waste" the chickens create is a much better fertilizer than any chemical fertilizer we could buy.   All of that plus fresh eggs and a whole lot of entertainment.  

What more could you want?

in clover: rest a minute

This summer hasn't exactly worked out as I planned.  Back in mid-May, I wrote this post for my other blogging gig, over on The Bluevine Collective.  As I reflect over the past month, I realize that despite "clearing my plate", life has continued to be very busy and I haven't checked much off on that list of things I intended to do this summer. (This might make more sense if you read the post but I can't promise anything.)

While I have done a bit of walking, I haven't read a single book...and I'm someone who can knock out a book (or two) per weekend. In fact, I've just received a notice from the library, letting me know that the Paul Knitter book mentioned in the above BVC post is now overdue. I'm only a few pages into the first chapter.

I've not picked berries, and my garden is struggling, I mean, REALLY struggling!  I've only boiled eggs, tried no new recipes at all and despite the lovely June weather, I haven't spent much time sitting in the garden, with or without coffee, watching my chickens.

I am definitely experiencing how extremely difficult it is to truly, genuinely make some space and room in our busy, busy lives.  I probably should only speak for myself here.  I am finding it extremely difficult to make time for sacred silence.  And I am experiencing just how clearly I resist silence and stillness, even as I very loudly and publicly proclaim my desire for both. 

In spiritual direction last week, I confessed that I was finding it difficult to read, impossible to journal (or write for publication with any real depth at all) and also, I noticed while walking and sharing with my friends that I talk more than they do.   Quite a bit more.  (I am blessed with patient and loving friends.  Thank you.  I love you.) 

It was gently suggested to me that all of the difficulties I am currently experiencing have one thing in common.  They all involve NOT listening.  I was asked to name what it is I am avoiding hearing but I had no answer.  I'm sitting with that question.  Well, sort of. 

Funny thing is, even at this level of busy-ness, I do not accomplish even one smidegeon of what many, actually, what MOST of my friends accomplish. (I have patient, loving and accomplished friends!) To be honest, that really bugs me.  To be perfectly honest, it really bugs me a lot!

I want to be accomplished too.  And isn't that what this summer was supposed to be about?  A period of discernment...time for me to hear what God is asking (telling) me to accomplish?


The (nearly obsessed) planning, list making, do-er me got busy thinking about and making a list all about how I could do more.  And that's just so I can  feel like I am merely (sort of) keeping up.

And then I remembered.  Turns out I have employed that strategy before and it failed quite miserably.  And left me quite miserable.  And my family even more miserable.

Clearly, I have plenty to sit with.  That is, if I ever actually sit.  

A few mornings ago I found myself with nothing to do and nowhere to be. First time all summer!  I wandered out to the garden with a cup of coffee  and had a seat. Within two minutes I was up and rearranging the garden. I moved lots of things.  

My hens, despite their clipped wings, have proved to be very accomplished escape artists.  There is a ledge between their coop and the aviary where I used to place a trio of flowers in pots.   But the girls used the sloped coop roof like a ladder and helped themselves to a nice snack of violas and geraniums!  The violas were on their last leg but hey, leggo my geranium!

So (although it nearly killed me) I decided to be practical and leave the ledge bare.  It's really hard for me to leave most any flat surface bare.   And come to find out, it wasn't a very good idea anyway because that nice flat surface really encouraged the hens to hop the fence so I replaced the flower pots with three (let's hope) non-edible vintage galvanized watering cans.   

I was left with what to do with those three flower pots so I flipped three old buckets upside down,  creating a bit of a plant stand effect.

Then I had to rearrange the French baker's rack that houses the rest of the galvanized.  It ended up looking like this...

I love my old tool collection so I left these lying about, as part of the vignette.  

The whole thing ended up looking like this... 

It was at that point that I realized I was no longer sitting.  Or being still, in the least.  And my head was FAR from silent.  

So I made myself sit down.  But as soon as I sat down, I thought I should get a shot of my view while sitting. For the blog.  And that's when I noticed which coffee mug I had (not intentionally) chosen that morning. 

Rest a minute.  Ok, universe.  Got it.  Well, I really don't GOT it but I think I've got it. 

Namaste, 

Lisa

P.S.  I don't really think it's so much about "resting" as it is about "listening." I'll keep you posted. 

 

in clover: empty nest

If you are wondering, I am still waiting.  Still an empty nester. Not a single egg yet. 

My friend suggested that my girls are enjoying their fancy "French - Kentucky" lifestyle and don't care to have any babies to tie them down.  

That gave me pause!

When I chose to incorporate the antique French aviary into my chicken run, I never anticipated that particular problem. 

I'll keep you posted. 

Namaste,

Lisa

in clover: egg envy

After finding my vintage French egg basket lying about the garden in various locations, I decided it would be best to hang it near the nesting boxes built into the side of our chicken coop.  I needed quite a long hook for it to "look right." I was just sure I had some old plant hooks hidden away in the shed or basement for an occasion such as this but alas, they were not to be found.  

I did discover a trio of vintage french light fixtures I picked up in Normandy and tucked away because, well, you NEVER KNOW when you will need a trio of vintage French light fixtures.  Seriously.  Looking at the fixture I realized....

that it is just the right size and it looks like a hook.  If the wiring were gone, as well as the "thingy that the lightbulb screws into", well, it would BE a quite charming hook.  Don't you agree?

Don't really care for the big silver screws Michael used to mount it to the fence, but I will take that up with him later.

Removing the old wiring and the "thingy that the light bulb screws into" is just fine. You should ALWAYS rewire vintage lighting.  Kits for rewiring are inexpensive and easy to use, do not risk a fire.  Rewire! 

And, if you buy a fixture from outside the US the "thingy that the light bulb screws into" will have to be replaced anyway.  So I have not harmed this fixture in the least by using it as a hook. 

I have to tell you...in all my buying trips to the French countryside, I found and purchased many egg baskets but never, not even once, did it ever occur to me that I might use one for...gathering eggs! 

(I really can't stand those silver screws)....but here is my basket, hanging right by the nesting boxes.  Hens like to lay eggs in a bit of a secluded, cozy space but they will also share nests so we have two nesting boxes for six hens.  Actually, it's one box divided in two.  

Just an hour or so after it was hung, the phone rang.

It was my friend John-Mark.  I purchased my hens from John-Mark and his wife.  Back in February, after moving to a new home,  they were getting a new flock started.  They knew I was interested in starting a micro-flock so they offered me some of their babies.  I took six and John-Mark gave the other extras to his niece.

He identified himself on the phone and then said,  "Lisa," (short dramatic pause)  "...I got an egg today." 

And I squealed!  And I squealed...and I squealed again.  SOOO exciting!

I wanted ALL the details..."Which one laid it?  What color?  How big?"

SOOO exciting!

That was last night.  I have checked the coop numerous times today hoping for an egg of my own.  I think I have injured my shoulder from lifting the coop roof over and over.  A friend gently suggested my hens might be experiencing "performance anxiety." 

And then, this afternoon, I got a photo text.  John-Mark's niece has an egg too!  A lovely light brown egg. 

Serious egg envy has set in.

I went outside and had a chat with the girls.  "It's time!"  I told them.  "You are big girls now.  Time to get down to business."   They just looked at me. 

Truth be told, I am having so much fun with these chickens I had almost FORGOTTEN about them actually laying eggs...but if the rest of the flock is producing, well, I want an egg too. So I am sitting.  And waiting.

Michael asked what I am up to.  "I have a glass of wine and I am waiting."  I replied.  "Waiting for what?"  he asked.  "My egg." I replied.  

He mumbled something that sounded an awful lot like, "A watched chicken never lays an egg"  and wandered off.

He's probably right but I really, really don't want to miss it. 

I'll keep you posted.

Namaste,

Lisa

in clover: plan b

This photo of our raised veggie bed was taken in mid May.  In late April, Mike picked up a load of 50-50 topsoil / organic compost from a local place.  Meanwhile, Central Kentucky experienced the wettest April on record.  When Mike loaded the soil into the new raised beds, it smelled to high heaven.  I was really concerned and even gave the folks a call.  I was afraid we had received uncomposted horse manure and I wasn't sure I should plant.  Horse manure is excellent for a garden but it must be well composted.  I was assured that there was no manure in our compost and it was ready to plant. 

Here it is as of yesterday.  Unfortunately, in six weeks time there has been very little growth and blooms wither almost immediately, instead of setting fruit. I don't think we were intentionally given hot compost but I do think we got soil that was not ready for use.  Next time I will listen to my inner voice and trust my instincts.

When I brought my plants home from Wilson's Nursery in mid May, they were healthy and beautiful and the smell had subsided from the bed. I remember thinking that maybe it had just been too wet. I crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.  I got the plants in the ground the same afternoon.  I noticed the soil had quite a bit of clay clods and a hardpack had formed on the top.  I stripped off the hardpack and watered everything really well. 

This photo is of a tomato plant I planted in my own compost (taken today).

And this is a tomato plant planted at the same time, in the topsoil/compost blend I purchased locally. 

I knew it was the soil that was the problem because I planted directly in the ground last summer in this same location and despite the severe drought and my sporadic watering,  I still got a good harvest.  I needed a rescue plan...it was time for PLAN B.

With the growth of two trees which were saplings when we moved here, much of the sunny spaces in our back garden are now shady spaces.  I had to get creative.  In the end, I removed one each of the acorn and zucchini squash plants, three tomatoes, and three peppers and put them here, on the edge of the perennial bed. I'm calling this the "potager." 

In the raised bed, I removed the rest of the plants and dug nice sized planting holes which I filled with organic top soil Mike purchased in a hurry from Home Depot.  (Remember...this is a rescue plan!) 

 My neighbor told me that the problem with "hot" compost is that it leaches the water from the soil.  He thinks my rescue plan might work and advised me to overwater.  So that's what I am doing.  Only time will tell. 

This is gardening.  There are no guarantees.  Things change...a tree matures and a sun garden becomes a shade garden.  Or an ice storm takes down a tree and a shade garden becomes a sun garden.  Some years we get drought, some years we get flood.  Some years we get both. Sometimes, we get hot compost.  It's just how it is. That's gardening.  That's life.  We need to find a way to get ok with a Plan B. If we want to feel peaceful, that is. 

Sometimes Plan B can turn out to be what some people call a "blessing in disguise."  I really love the new potager.  That area of my  garden needed something and I didn't know what.  I've tried different things but who knew tomatoes and peppers would be just the ticket! And the zuchinni that I was going to try to grow vertical (which apparently is not easy) now has plenty of room to spread out...both in the potager and in the raised bed.  And I've learned a lot about the science of soil which will make me a better gardener. 

I may have a diminished and / or late harverst this year but I feel confident I WILL have a harvest.

Elsewhere around the garden, things are going really well. While I was rummaging in the shed, I found this old french faucet I forgot I had.

The basil I started from seed and transplanted to a tub in the perennial bed is doing great.  That's purple spider wort behind it.  I pulled that out a few years ago because it drove me crazy.  It was always flopping over.  But a sprig of it remained and it is quite large again.  But now, the tub holds it upright.  Everyone is happy.   

 

The coneflowers are ready to bloom...

There are a few tomatoes on the vine....

Little c and I planted these begonias in a vintage French wire egg basket for our outdoor dining table.  She brought them home from church on Mother's Day. 

The ross moss is my favorite in the window boxes this year.  So lovely.



And there is even more basil in a pot by the French aviary, a nice sunny spot.  I really love basil.  Just have to keep it out of pecking distance.  Chickens love basil too.  

How is your garden growing?  Am I the only one on Plan B? 

 







in clover: a little piece of heaven

It has been a most unusual spring around here.  The rain has not stopped...someone said a local meteorologist reported we have had nine days of sunshine since April. 


I have my new raised beds to plant this year and I've been wanting to make a trip to Wilson's in Frankfort.  They have a large selection of locally grown plants,heirlooms and organics.  They also have really cool garden ornaments too.  I'm a bit of a snob, usually preferring old things to new, but sometimes something new can tempt me. 

Last week, on only a SEMI-rainy day, Michael and I made a quick, quick trip to get a few veggies and a few things for the backdoor windowboxes.  
I ran through the nursery, snapping a few photographs and grabbing plants...promising myself I would return for a leisurely visit and maybe even lunch at the cafe.  By the time we were loading plants in the car, it was raining again.

When I got home, I posted to FaceBook that I felt slightly inebriated and that was the truth!  Drunk on beautiful plants, how awesome is that?!  

I liked this bench alot.  It has nice lines and is very sturdy.  It was priced at $300 plus. 

This chair looks very vintage French but with a bit of a modern twist.  A pair would make quite a statement.



This potting bench / green house was one of the first things to catch my eye.  Even though it's new, I really like it. The $1200 price tag was out of reach for me though.  I've been mulling over ideas of how to get a similiar look in my price range.  

A very cute porcelain toadstool....



Succulent shaped candles for $19.95...

This organic perlite reminded me of my friend Kera...she's going to make hypertufa! 

Several years ago, I participated in a group study of M. Scott Peck's book, "The Road Less Traveled."  I decided that I am generally pretty good at "delayed gratification," a concept covered in the book.  I usually plant zinna SEEDS but this year, I couldn't resist the instant gratification of buying a few plants as well.  One of my very favorites....

What an amazing array of succulents.  I decided to choose one for the wall pocket that hangs on the gate of the chicken courtyard and one to plant in my long, skinny stone trough in the green themed garden.  

Each year I try to change up the planting in my windowboxes but the one non-negotiable staple are pink geraniums. These are healthy and beautiful!

We love pesto and last fall, I froze several batches for the winter.  We enjoyed it so much I resolved to plant an entire basil patch this year! Here's one I've not seen before...

And of course, I had to get this variety...in honor of the many Magical Michaels in my life.  

Here's another nice ornament...this large, lovely sphere.  They came in several sizes.  This one was quite large and priced $68. 

Ahhh...Irish moss!  I had a patch of Irish Moss under my potting bench but last years severe drought led to its demise.

I hold myself responsible as it wasn't really in the right place, although the moss really gave it a go.  I got a  nice sized pot and I know exactly where I will plant it..well, one of two places!  I think.

Michael built our raised beds because we needed a custom fit but these would be a very good alternative to building your own...



Ok, I LOVE these....tomato cages in vibrant, cool colors!

Groovy head planters....wish I had gotten the blue one....

This was sweet....a sort of garden doll house...miniature conservatory and accessories.  Hard to resist.  :)

Equally irresistable to me, fairy gardens...one of these days...

Another old fashioned favorite...gazing balls....a chimney pot makes a nice stand  

It's likely a blessing we were in a hurry to meet little c's schoolbus.  We did get everything we needed...a little splash of color, lots of green, and a very nice selection of organic, heirloom veggies and herbs. 

I thought Wilson's prices were very comparable, even to a big box store.  The selection was unbeatable and the quality superb.  I can't wait to see how my garden will grow! 

Namaste,

Lisa