in clover: watching for fairies

Last summer, on a whim, I put together a small fairy garden.  I used an old english stone trough, pilfered from my antique shop, as the base.  The fantasy garden was ostensibly for Little c.  She was delighted by it and spent quite a bit of time near it, just looking.  And I will admit, I was so taken by my creation (and keeping it tidy...keeping it "right")  that I quietly discouraged "playing" with it.  I am not very proud of that but that is the truth.  This photo is of the fairy garden, last spring.

As the seasons changed, I neglected to winterize the little garden.  It survived, mostly intact, and I intended to put it all back to rights at the first sign of spring...that is, as soon as I had time.  c asked me about it several times but I had no time.  I made lots of promises to get the garden tip top and fairy ready asap, but "not today."  

Then one evening, I wandered outside with a glass of wine.  My intention is always the same....to sit and enjoy.  I have attempted to design our humble garden for this very purpose...there are comfortable chairs scattered about with tables nearby for a book or a mug of coffee, umbrellas for shade and flowers for enjoyment.  As winter becomes spring and I long for the garden, what I envision is always the same....me, settling in with a hot mug of coffee early in the morning, or with a cool glass of wine as the sun sets, simply enjoying it all.  There is no busy-ness in my vision (and no bugs, either.)

But truthfully, my sitting usually lasts less than five minutes.   Inevitably,  I scan the garden and, rather than seeing all that there is to enjoy, I begin to notice all the things that need doing and fixing...there are weeds to pull, shrubs to trim, pots to water, flowers to dehead and the list goes on.  And, usually within a very few minutes, I am up and moving....my uncle calls it my "Granny gene."  He says I come by it honestly.  I think, like all things, there is both a blessing and a curse in my granny gene. 

This particular evening, after only a sip or two of wine,  my gaze landed on the fairy garden and waves of guilt immediately washed over me....I should have made it more of a priority to "fix" the tiny vignette, as I had promised c.  And then I noticed something....the fairy garden was decidedly more pink and green than I remembered.  Upon closer inspection, this is what I found: 

c had transformed the fairy garden with leaves and small bits of evergreen, azalea blossoms and even one purple flower she gathered from a clump of chives.  I remembered how amazed she was last summer, when I revealed the fairy garden surprise.  Now it was my turn to be surprised and enchanted!  

I was most taken with the fairy sized "umbrellas" she had created by perching upside down azalea blossoms on small twigs,  strategically anchored in the rock hard ground.   I am sure this took a lot of effort on her part.

Honestly, what fairy could resist such a sweet resting spot?

It only took a few moments for my delight to give way to dismay.  I felt very guilty that c had felt she must take it upon herself to rescue the garden.  After all,  she will only be a little girl for a short time... who knows how long this time will last....will this spring be the last when a few bits of broken brick and pottery shards evoke such delight in her?   

But, as I sat with all those "bad mommy" thoughts and allowed the guilt to simply pass through me, eventually I had a different thought. 

What if there is more to this story than simply the guilt and remorse of a harried mother, neglecting to fulfill a promise?   If I've learned anything from the practice of spiritual direction, I've learned that there is always something more.

Could there also have been a gift to c in this? 

She loves to express her creativity...she writes and draws and decorates and invents games and makes up funny songs and loves to take photographs and I do my best to encourage all of that....but I must admit, I tend to hold on to some things....like home decor and garden design!  In those matters, we often butt heads.  I am sure, had I made the time to "fix" the fairy garden, I would have taken charge and perhaps (more than likely) even rejected c's ideas.  

As completely unconscious as my stepping back was, still...space was created for little c to act on her own creative impulses.  She was so proud and I was truly delighted by what she designed.  And in the end, with my need for correctness out of the way, the fairy garden became something far more meaningful than looking picture perfect...far, far more sacred!  The garden is still a lovely place for fairies but, more importantly, it is a place for a little girl to express herself.... a canvas that invites, encourages, and nurtures imagination and creativity.  A place that invites an encounter with the Divine through creative expression. 

Last year, c spent hours sitting and watching the garden...certain that if she waited long enough a fairy would appear:

Now, I am the one who sits and watches the fairy garden...hoping to catch a glimpse of gossamer wings or a sprinkling of glittering dust in this place,  now of our shared creation...feeling connected TO my daughter...feeling connected to God THROUGH my daughter.  

I do not mean that my distracted behavior toward my daughter is excused and I certainly don't mean that it was "God's plan"...there are lessons for me here about distraction and priorities and, at least for a few days, I know I will be more present to her.  But there is always more.  The story is never only about our failures.  That is what the practice of spiritual direction is about.

The Sacred is moving in EVERY moment of our lives, not just the ones that make us feel good or proud of ourselves.  God is just as evident in our parenting failures as She is in our successes.   Many, like Father Richard Rohr, believe there is more spiritual growth potential in failure than in success. 

Working with a spiritual director can help you notice and savor the Sacred in all areas of your life.  My guess is that many of you have never heard of spiritual direction and it might even sound a bit odd to you.  It  sure did to me!  The first time someone, a minister, said to me, "Why don't you investigate spiritual direction?"  my immediate response was, "Spiritual direction?  What the hell is that??"

If you want to know more about what spiritual direction is or perhaps even more importantly, what it is not, send me a note.  I will be glad to share information with you.  If you are interested in engaging in this ancient practice, get in touch with me.  If I cannot work with you, I will happily help you find a trained and appropriate director.  

God is present in it all and God is longing to be known THROUGH it all....precious little girls and fairy dust and broken promises, azalea blossoms and twigs and rock hard soil...in granny genes, for better or worse....in stillness and busyness, in love and in imperfect parenting.  There is sacredness in and of it all. 

Namaste, 

Lisa 

in clover: plan b

This photo of our raised veggie bed was taken in mid May.  In late April, Mike picked up a load of 50-50 topsoil / organic compost from a local place.  Meanwhile, Central Kentucky experienced the wettest April on record.  When Mike loaded the soil into the new raised beds, it smelled to high heaven.  I was really concerned and even gave the folks a call.  I was afraid we had received uncomposted horse manure and I wasn't sure I should plant.  Horse manure is excellent for a garden but it must be well composted.  I was assured that there was no manure in our compost and it was ready to plant. 

Here it is as of yesterday.  Unfortunately, in six weeks time there has been very little growth and blooms wither almost immediately, instead of setting fruit. I don't think we were intentionally given hot compost but I do think we got soil that was not ready for use.  Next time I will listen to my inner voice and trust my instincts.

When I brought my plants home from Wilson's Nursery in mid May, they were healthy and beautiful and the smell had subsided from the bed. I remember thinking that maybe it had just been too wet. I crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.  I got the plants in the ground the same afternoon.  I noticed the soil had quite a bit of clay clods and a hardpack had formed on the top.  I stripped off the hardpack and watered everything really well. 

This photo is of a tomato plant I planted in my own compost (taken today).

And this is a tomato plant planted at the same time, in the topsoil/compost blend I purchased locally. 

I knew it was the soil that was the problem because I planted directly in the ground last summer in this same location and despite the severe drought and my sporadic watering,  I still got a good harvest.  I needed a rescue plan...it was time for PLAN B.

With the growth of two trees which were saplings when we moved here, much of the sunny spaces in our back garden are now shady spaces.  I had to get creative.  In the end, I removed one each of the acorn and zucchini squash plants, three tomatoes, and three peppers and put them here, on the edge of the perennial bed. I'm calling this the "potager." 

In the raised bed, I removed the rest of the plants and dug nice sized planting holes which I filled with organic top soil Mike purchased in a hurry from Home Depot.  (Remember...this is a rescue plan!) 

 My neighbor told me that the problem with "hot" compost is that it leaches the water from the soil.  He thinks my rescue plan might work and advised me to overwater.  So that's what I am doing.  Only time will tell. 

This is gardening.  There are no guarantees.  Things change...a tree matures and a sun garden becomes a shade garden.  Or an ice storm takes down a tree and a shade garden becomes a sun garden.  Some years we get drought, some years we get flood.  Some years we get both. Sometimes, we get hot compost.  It's just how it is. That's gardening.  That's life.  We need to find a way to get ok with a Plan B. If we want to feel peaceful, that is. 

Sometimes Plan B can turn out to be what some people call a "blessing in disguise."  I really love the new potager.  That area of my  garden needed something and I didn't know what.  I've tried different things but who knew tomatoes and peppers would be just the ticket! And the zuchinni that I was going to try to grow vertical (which apparently is not easy) now has plenty of room to spread out...both in the potager and in the raised bed.  And I've learned a lot about the science of soil which will make me a better gardener. 

I may have a diminished and / or late harverst this year but I feel confident I WILL have a harvest.

Elsewhere around the garden, things are going really well. While I was rummaging in the shed, I found this old french faucet I forgot I had.

The basil I started from seed and transplanted to a tub in the perennial bed is doing great.  That's purple spider wort behind it.  I pulled that out a few years ago because it drove me crazy.  It was always flopping over.  But a sprig of it remained and it is quite large again.  But now, the tub holds it upright.  Everyone is happy.   

 

The coneflowers are ready to bloom...

There are a few tomatoes on the vine....

Little c and I planted these begonias in a vintage French wire egg basket for our outdoor dining table.  She brought them home from church on Mother's Day. 

The ross moss is my favorite in the window boxes this year.  So lovely.



And there is even more basil in a pot by the French aviary, a nice sunny spot.  I really love basil.  Just have to keep it out of pecking distance.  Chickens love basil too.  

How is your garden growing?  Am I the only one on Plan B? 

 







in clover: getting unstuck

I've been stuck in a bit of a rut lately.  It's ok, happens to the best of us. And being stuck in a rut is not all bad.  Sometimes, it is helpful to be in a "rut."  Sometimes, we just need to get where we need to go without having to think much about it.  But other times, we need to break out of the rut. 

I felt ready to be unstuck so I started moving things around. When I get stuck, it's the first thing I do.  I move things around in my physical environment.  Things I all ready have.  You'd be surprised by the difference that can be made, just by rearranging things a bit.  I moved things around inside the house last week.   Still stuck.  So I went outside....

The first thing I moved was this succulent I had planted in the wall pocket that hangs on the gate to the chicken courtyard.  I'd never felt quite satisfied with the way it looked.  Out of balance.  Not terrible but not quite right, either.  

I replaced it with this little guy which I think IS just right. 



  

Remember my post  about sacred brokenness?  Well, as is often the case, I have been given an opportunity to practice what I preach.  These are the window boxes by my back door last summer. 

I have had these planters as long as I have lived in this house.  Every year I congratulate myself on my good luck at finding pretty, reasonably priced, long lasting pottery planters that JUST FIT my concrete window ledges like they were custom made!

This year I lined the planters up on the ground for a new planting…all six in a row...

I added compost and plants to the six boxes and fit them snugly together on the ledge.  One, two, three, four, five...

 and then six.... 

I don’t know what happened.  It simply slipped from my hand.  Smashed on the concrete.   Can't be mended.

I was home alone and I could have cursed at the top of my lungs but I remembered that post about sacred brokenness.  So I allowed myself one quick, angry lap around the garden, fists clinched, and then I took a deep breath because there’s no sense crying over spilled milk or broken window boxes.

As I gathered the broken pieces, I realized they were too pretty to throw away.  To honor the lovely brokenness of the pottery, I placed the bits here, in this flower bed.  For the past few years, this has been my herb garden but in the spirit of moving things around I decided to move the herbs and  throw down about a zillion zinnia seeds here, among the instantly gratifying but quite expensive (compared to seeds) zinnia plants I bought at Wilson’s. Once things start to grow, I'll move the broken bits around again.

I spread out the five remaining boxes until the space on the ledge was evenly filled.  I thought to myself, “its kind of ZEN to leave a little blank space between the planters….like the beads of silence interspersed on my prayer bracelet.” 

After much reflection, I think I actually like them better this way.    

I’ve also changed the plantings in the window boxes themselves this year.  I’ve mixed up my  color scheme…throwing in some red, orange and yellow by adding basil, rosemary, Tequila mix rose moss, red calibrachoa  and giant Antigua Orange marigolds to my usual pink geraniums, asparagus fern and sweet alyssum.  I also swapped out the planters that sit on the steps under the window boxes.  I moved the very traditional dark green concrete planters filled with Lipstick Impatiens to the front steps. 

I replaced them with more contemporary plastic moss green urns and repeated the same plants.  (Got the urns at Target…a bargain at under $7 each!)  I've never had plastic urns before but I was drawn to the color and simple lines of these.  I looked at them at least a dozen times before I gave in and put them in the cart.

For a finishing touch, I swapped a (mildewed) khaki and black chaise lounge cushion for a bright green one.   (Home Depot - $19.99)  There is a lot of vibrant color in this corner now and I really like it.

I also made one more big change.  I did something I don't think I have EVER done before.  I bought some plastic chairs. It's not that I have anything against plastic...it's just that plastic, by it's very nature, cannot be rusty or have peely paint...traits that make my heart beat faster. 

Out front, I have these lovely handmade wooden Adirondacks (a gift from a sweet friend). And I LOVE them.

But I went with plastic for the back garden. They will dry quickly after a rain or a squirt from a garden hose.  They are lightweight and very easy to move off the grass.  Big C sometimes mows around the heavy wooden chairs which doesn't make me very happy. 

I like to move the chairs around to the ever elusive shady spot in the afternoon.  These are maintenance free, inexpensive ($16 on sale at Target) and come in very pretty colors these days.  I can't imagine I would ever want ALL plastic furniture, no matter how convenient or practical, but I am definitely enjoying these two chairs.   

I chose blue to pick up the blue roof on little c's house...

which, yikes, I just remembered is also made of plastic!  The little house was a gift to her on her 3rd birthday.  At the time, it was a choice between the cutest plastic house I could find or no house at all, despite the elaborate plans I had drawn for a custom made playhouse named Foxglove Cottage. 

I've decided to crown myself Queen of Good Enough and just get on with life!  This house with the blue roof was definitely Good Enough and little c and half the kids in the neighborhood love playing in it, plastic or not. 

The blue also shows up in this bistro table...

And in my broken blue vintage French seltzer bottle...

I think I moved myself right out of that rut.  

Namaste, 

Lisa   



in clover: a little piece of heaven

It has been a most unusual spring around here.  The rain has not stopped...someone said a local meteorologist reported we have had nine days of sunshine since April. 


I have my new raised beds to plant this year and I've been wanting to make a trip to Wilson's in Frankfort.  They have a large selection of locally grown plants,heirlooms and organics.  They also have really cool garden ornaments too.  I'm a bit of a snob, usually preferring old things to new, but sometimes something new can tempt me. 

Last week, on only a SEMI-rainy day, Michael and I made a quick, quick trip to get a few veggies and a few things for the backdoor windowboxes.  
I ran through the nursery, snapping a few photographs and grabbing plants...promising myself I would return for a leisurely visit and maybe even lunch at the cafe.  By the time we were loading plants in the car, it was raining again.

When I got home, I posted to FaceBook that I felt slightly inebriated and that was the truth!  Drunk on beautiful plants, how awesome is that?!  

I liked this bench alot.  It has nice lines and is very sturdy.  It was priced at $300 plus. 

This chair looks very vintage French but with a bit of a modern twist.  A pair would make quite a statement.



This potting bench / green house was one of the first things to catch my eye.  Even though it's new, I really like it. The $1200 price tag was out of reach for me though.  I've been mulling over ideas of how to get a similiar look in my price range.  

A very cute porcelain toadstool....



Succulent shaped candles for $19.95...

This organic perlite reminded me of my friend Kera...she's going to make hypertufa! 

Several years ago, I participated in a group study of M. Scott Peck's book, "The Road Less Traveled."  I decided that I am generally pretty good at "delayed gratification," a concept covered in the book.  I usually plant zinna SEEDS but this year, I couldn't resist the instant gratification of buying a few plants as well.  One of my very favorites....

What an amazing array of succulents.  I decided to choose one for the wall pocket that hangs on the gate of the chicken courtyard and one to plant in my long, skinny stone trough in the green themed garden.  

Each year I try to change up the planting in my windowboxes but the one non-negotiable staple are pink geraniums. These are healthy and beautiful!

We love pesto and last fall, I froze several batches for the winter.  We enjoyed it so much I resolved to plant an entire basil patch this year! Here's one I've not seen before...

And of course, I had to get this variety...in honor of the many Magical Michaels in my life.  

Here's another nice ornament...this large, lovely sphere.  They came in several sizes.  This one was quite large and priced $68. 

Ahhh...Irish moss!  I had a patch of Irish Moss under my potting bench but last years severe drought led to its demise.

I hold myself responsible as it wasn't really in the right place, although the moss really gave it a go.  I got a  nice sized pot and I know exactly where I will plant it..well, one of two places!  I think.

Michael built our raised beds because we needed a custom fit but these would be a very good alternative to building your own...



Ok, I LOVE these....tomato cages in vibrant, cool colors!

Groovy head planters....wish I had gotten the blue one....

This was sweet....a sort of garden doll house...miniature conservatory and accessories.  Hard to resist.  :)

Equally irresistable to me, fairy gardens...one of these days...

Another old fashioned favorite...gazing balls....a chimney pot makes a nice stand  

It's likely a blessing we were in a hurry to meet little c's schoolbus.  We did get everything we needed...a little splash of color, lots of green, and a very nice selection of organic, heirloom veggies and herbs. 

I thought Wilson's prices were very comparable, even to a big box store.  The selection was unbeatable and the quality superb.  I can't wait to see how my garden will grow! 

Namaste,

Lisa